Egg Donation – Going For It
Welcome back to Fertilitylink.com’s Egg Donor Experience blog. This week Kate’s going to tell us about her approach to going for it. In this post we’ll walk through Kate’s decision making about some personal issues:
- Her very first concern
- How donation affected her work schedule
- Who was involved in deciding to donate – her boyfriend, family, friends?
- What she thought about sharing her genetic material
- How she feels about having a connection to the children born from her donations
Straight From Kate
When I first started looking into egg donation I had a few reservations about it, but only because I was given misinformation. The first thing I was concerned about was how long the process was going to take. I have been on birth control since I was 16 and have never been off of it for a long period of time. I thought I would have to go off of it for months so that it was “out of my system”. I also thought that I would be taking injections for a lot longer than I actually had to. I had heard the process takes months, which is only true if you count all the time it takes for paper work to go through and waiting to get matched with a parent.
From the first day of your period to the retrieval date takes only about 2 weeks. After I was chosen, I told my boss that I would need a few days off and decided to tell her why because I was excited to be doing it. She told me that she knew someone who had been an egg donor and that is was a painful process and that I probably had to take off way more days to heal… Which neither was true at all.
I have read some blogs or articles about women having negative experiences, and I’m sure some do, but I am guessing there are a lot more women who have had positive experiences, like me, who have never shared them. I know that when people go out to a restaurant and have a bad experience they are way more likely to write a bad review than the thousands of people who had an average/good/positive experience. And that one negative experience is the one that gets attention.
Pros and Cons
Before submitting my application I weighed the pros and cons, and came up with only pros; I would be helping a family out, I would learn about my body and family history, I would learn about the egg donation process, and I would be compensated 10,000 dollars. I told my boyfriend about my decision and he was very supportive. He thought that I was doing a great thing, and had the same views on egg donation as I did, and that it was obviously my body and I could do whatever I felt comfortable with. I also made sure he was involved because I needed someone to be with me during the retrieval and for a ride home afterwards.
I was hesitant to tell my parents because they are more “traditional.” They weren’t too keen on the thought of “their” grandchildren out in the world somewhere. I know thie DNA concern is the main reason why most of my friends are hesitant or do not want to be an egg donor at all. However, I don’t see it that way. A baby cannot be made with just an egg, it takes someone else to fertilize it. It also takes someone else to carry it, nurse it, and take care of it, something I am not a part of.
I’ve also heard some of my friends say they are worried that the children might find them later on in life. Almost all egg donations are anonymous. The lawyer that you are appointed goes over a very extensive contract to ensure that you are not responsible, parentally or monetarily, for the child once it is born. It is hard to change someone’s view points on this, but I know for me, I am not thinking about how there might be someone out there that shares the same genetic material as me but rather that I helped a struggling parent have a child and knowing it will be loved that much more because of it.
If you are considering donating your eggs or have donated your eggs, what is/was your greatest concern? Follow along for our weekly additions and leave a comment or question!